The worst part of all, at least for me, is that just as my fraternity house is being repaired from the beating it took last year, I have to worry about another series of hail-packed haymakers coming through in two months. I'm seriously about one storm away from pulling a Lieutenant Dan from Forrest Gump and perching myself on top of the Sig Ep house as I scream at Buddha to try and kill me.
Honestly, our house took on more water during last year's three hurricanes than a boat carrying Kirstie Alley and Rosie O'Donnell, and if I have to deal with any more damage I'm going to light myself on fire like a human menorah.
I'm not at a Scorpions concert so no hurricanes, please(Subscr. Reqd.)
