[...]some people have some serious impediments to getting the most out of this weekend. Below are some common problems and my advised solutions....and so on ad nauseum. These guys are snarkier than we are.
You're a freshman:
This can be a problem during Winter Carnival for a few reasons. First of all, nobody likes you. Secondly, you've never done this before.
[...]
You don't drink:
(religious/moral reasons) – Listen, Jesus turned water into wine, not Rockstar Energy Drink.
[...]
(don't know how to get alcohol) – KDE will happily supply all underage drinkers with Keystone Light, this weekend as every weekend, no questions asked.
[...]
You don't know what to wear:
(male) – Going to a frat party? Better wear sweatpants and a T-shirt. Attempting to look good at a frat party is like putting a sign on your back that simultaneously says both "Ding me!" and "Kick me!" Unless, of course, if you're gay, in which case you're offering some great P.R. points for the brotherhood and flashy clothes just make the point more clear for onlookers (unless it's Sig Ep, because everyone knows that they hate all minorities). Going to some other kind of programming? Dude, not sweet, dude.
The Dartmouth Online
Technorati tags: Dartmouth, Winter Carnival
