This is not a typical Christmas post, but bear with me, I'll try to get to an upbeat and grateful ending.
I got an email this morning from my best friend's wife. She was letting a few of his friends know that his son had died in his sleep Thursday night. Alan and I have been best friends since high school, some 40(!) years ago. We pledged the same fraternity - not Sig Ep - our freshman year of college. He made the grades, I ended up dropping out and joining the Navy for four years. (After I got out and returned to college, somewhat more stable, I found and joined Sig Ep.) He introduced me to my first wife. I have since forgiven him for that. He was a party to all three of my weddings and Best Man in the latest - and last! - one. I rejoiced with him in the birth of his first son. I sat with him over the years and discussed the trials of child rearing as his and my children grew up, made mistakes, and got through them.
His oldest son had more than his share of trouble and did not get himself straightened out until he finally "got sober" in his 20's. He went to college, got married, and blessed Alan with two grandkids. His last 15 years or so he showed all the great character we both knew was in him all along. And so, 2 days ago, he just died. I don't know the details and in fact they really do not matter. I grieve for Alan and his son's wife and kids. Alan is the closest thing to a brother I have ever had. The loss feels as close as if it were one of my nieces or nephews.
This past summer you may recall I posted an entry when my father passed away. Alan and Mary were at my side then as any true family member would be. I wish that I could be there with them in their time of sorrow now.
Tomorrow (later today!) when I wake I will join most of my family for our celebration of Christmas. There will be all the usual happy chaos that ensues when these gatherings occur. But I will take just a moment or two out of the merriment and acknowledge that there is another large family gathering in another state where the joy is overwhelmed by sorrow. I will say a short prayer for my friend and brother, in spirit if not in fact, and for the soul of his son.
Christmas is a time of celebrating beginnings, births, and hope. In the midst of sorrow there can be recognition of the good things. A.J. (the son) had 36 years. In that time he went to hell and returned a changed man. He found hope and cause for celebration and made his father proud in the manner of the biblical prodical son. I am glad to have known him all these years and I know he has been a good influence to those who knew him as well.
We at S&P hope that all of you who read these ramblings are blessed with health and happiness this year and in the coming year. I also hope that all of you find a "forty-year" friendship with whom you can share life's ups and downs, and if it is with a Sig Ep brother then so much the better. Merry Christmas and happy holidays.
tag: Christmas Loss Friendship Sorrow
