Thank You and Happy Holidays

Happy Fourth of July!

Yes, we stole this from HQ. Have a good one anyway.

It’s OK not to drink (especially tonight)

Yes, it really is OK. I am also a non-drinker, but unlike the author of the article I came to the decision to quit through hard-won experience. Either way, or just to take a break, it is OK. If you choose to drink responsibly that is fine too. I'm just saying make your own choices.
(Little known fact - no one really cares what is in your glass. They are too busy with their own.)

Sigma Phi Epsilon | The Jamestown Comet.:

I have never hidden the fact that I am a non-drinker; really, nothing, ever. An alumnus of one of the oldest national college fraternities – Sigma Phi Epsilon – I’ve never had an alcoholic beverage of any kind. I didn’t steer clear of the bubbly because of a religious choice or some deep, philosophical reason. It just wasn’t part of my experience growing up and, fortunately, I never developed the interest. That said, drinking is a big part of adult social and business functions and thus, hard to avoid. But it’s OK NOT to drink. Really, it is.

Vanessa Freeman and Gery L. Deer 

talk “staying sober” on WDTN-

TV2′s LIVING DAYTON. 

Click to watch the full interview.

First, you have to be OK with yourself and your decision not to indulge. If you’re uncomfortable with yourself about not drinking then you’ll probably make others feel that way too. Ambivalence will probably result in your drinking anyway and it will be your own decision and not because of peer pressure. Remember that if anyone takes issue with you’re not drinking, or pressures you in some way, the problem is theirs not yours.Some people might think peer pressure is limited to the adolescent years, but even as an adult, I know how much pressure there is on people to drink alcohol at social and business events. Despite opinions to the contrary, it really is OK not to drink and here are some ideas for anyone trying to abstain but who still wants to feel included in the fun of the party.

If offered, politely decline, but don’t make excuses. After all, the offer was not made to offend you. It’s not a good idea to launch into some long-winded explanation, however, or rattle off a list of excuses about why you’re abstaining. Just say something like, “No thanks. I’d really like a cup of tea (coffee, soda, whatever), though, if you have it?” It’s polite and expresses your appreciation for the offer.

Carry a decoy, but don’t pretend it is alcohol, in other words, avoid the mock-tail. There is no need to call attention to the drink in your hand, but you might carry a drink around with you. Some people will advise you to accept an alcoholic drink and just hold it all night, but that’s not only pointless and dishonest. It could actually make you feel more self-conscious. People will expect you to sip from your drink now and again during long conversations, so just have something else in your glass.

Participating and socializing will also help to keep attention away from the lack of a drink in your hand. Keeping busy will keep your mind off the fact you’re not drinking with the other guests and help you be more involved in the event. If, however, there is still a particularly high level of pressure on you to drink or be left out or ridiculed, you should extricate yourself from the situation and rethink attending activities with the same group of people again.

Whatever you do don’t try to change the behavior of others. A social or business function is not the proper setting for a personal mission or intervention. You, alone, have made the conscious decision to attend an event where alcohol is being served and to be included you must live and let live. Needless to say, if you see someone about to drink and drive, act accordingly as your circumstances permit.

There’s no “down side” to abstaining from alcohol. When you don’t drink, you’re probably less likely to do things that have negative consequences. So, provided you don’t have some kind of a deviant propensity toward misbehavior anyway, you should make it through the event unscathed. Your social position may suffer, however, especially if you typically surround yourself with partiers. I say, it’s their loss.

Negative people have a negative effect on us. What kind of a “friend” abandons you because you don’t want to use alcohol? If you were always a non-drinker, it’s probably easier for others to accept because they know from the start. But going on the wagon, for whatever reason, can be challenging. Once again, just remember that it’s OK not to drink. Just be yourself. It’s you that should matter to your friends and colleagues, not what’s in your glass.

Gery L. Deer is an independent contributor to WDTN-TV2’s Living Dayton program. More at www.gerydeer.com

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Training in 10: Facility Closure Best Practices

This week's "Training in 10" discusses best practices for closing the chapter house for the holidays.

T10_5_Facility_Closure_Best_Practices:

Merry Christmas to All

Merry Christmas from

"Sanguine et Purpure - the Unofficial SigEp Blog"

Have a wonderful holiday season.

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SigEp Christmas Lights - Solstice day

Well, The Mayans missed the mark. I am relieved so I searched out another SigEp Christmas light show.
Enjoy.

And in case it is appropriate, have a "Festive Festivus" or a "Serene Solstice" today. It is even nicer since we can thank the Mayans for a "Botched B'ak'tun"

CSUSigEp - Preview 121's Winter Wonderland Holiday Toy Drive and Light Show - YouTube

There are several more CSUSigEp videos on YouTube. Enjoy

CSUSigEp - Preview 121's Winter Wonderland Holiday Toy Drive and Light Show - YouTube: ""

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Way to go guys!

Holiday Greetings from HQ

..and that goes for the S&P team, too.

Merry Christmas!

From all of us on the blog team to all our loyal readers, have a safe and happy holiday season, and may the New Year bring you a "Healthy Spirit and Healthy Body."

SigEp Santa in New Orleans

As their last philanthropy of the semester members of the Louisiana Gamma Chapter joined with the Fore!kids Foundation to hand out Toys R Us gift cards. Among the celebrities also in attendance was New Orleans Saints Head Coach Sean Payton, pictured here with brothers Tyler Cocek, Andrew McWilliams, and Santa Sammy. Although you can’t see it in this photo, Santa is wearing his member badge on the red uniform.

(PS:One of the elves told us that this Santa is a close personal friend of Bill Hydrick, but you didn't hear it from us!)

Advice for the homeward-bound

Stephen Yeargin, one of our irregular contributors, offers this advice for those of you who are home from school for the holidays:

I am reminded of the quote a year a two ago about "Christmas: The time when you leave the people you love to be with family."

I have to wonder how our newest members (and even some of the older members) handle being around family members that they have been away from for a semester or two. The holidays were always a time of stress over the winter break because life moves at a different pace away from college. While on campus, you move from one class to the next, one meet-up with friends to the next and hopefully find some time to yourself in the evening or early morning hours.

Compare that to your typical trip home, and you are likely either bored out of your mind or at loggerheads with your parents over something as simple as where your laundry goes (hint: half down the stairs, in the living room, and the like are not correct answers). So my thoughts are with our brothers around the country that are re-adjusting to the non-college lifestyle at home. It might be ironic that you would rather be in a lecture hall for two hours than spending three minutes on a lecture about why it is not OK to check Facebook at 2 a.m.

- Stephen

Winter Break Opportunity - Katrina Reconstruction

Gene Shurg sent this notice of what MD Beta and DE Alpha will be doing over Christmas break.

The Maryland Beta Chapter of Sigma Phi Epsilon Fraternity, located at the University of Maryland, plans to journey to Louisiana’s St. Bernard Parish (located near New Orleans) during the Winter Break to build homes for victims of hurricane Katrina. Relief efforts have continued since the disaster, but many regions still need continued support. These men were so moved by the needs of the area that they would like to travel this January with a large number of SigEps to help with the rebuilding efforts.

Maryland Beta will be joined by SigEp brothers from the Delaware Alpha Chapter from the University of Delaware.

Maryland Beta with past Grand Chapter President Archie Yeatts

The Chapter is approaching the project on two fronts–during this semester the chapter has set a goal to raise a minimum of $10,000 to pay for building materials and financial support for continued rebuilding efforts, and another $4,000 will be raised to support the travel and living expenses for the volunteers.

Volunteers will stay at Camp Hope, which provides modest, low-cost lodging for relief volunteers. They will be working from January 6 through January 11, 2008.

If you would like to contribute to the recovery efforts through this project, a tax-deductible gift for building materials may be sent by check made payable to

“IH Center/St. Bernard Project”
Sigma Phi Epsilon–MD Beta,
8 Fraternity Row,
College Park, Maryland, 20740.

Other gifts to support the travel and living costs for the volunteers can be made payable to Sigma Phi Epsilon and sent to the same address. Gifts to the Chapter for travel and living costs are not tax-deductible.

The Maryland Beta Chapter would also be interested in members from other chapters who would like to experience this service-learning opportunity and join them sharing brotherly love with the people of the St. Bernard Parish. To join Maryland Beta and Delaware Alpha chapters in this program contact Kevin Lynch or Matthew Bowen.

More information regarding the St. Bernard Project can be found at www.stbernardproject.org.

Want to help? Send them a check. If you can work, send an email and let them know.

What's on YOUR list?

This is the time of year when folks start looking back and looking forward. In fact, the name "January" is taken from the roman god "Janus", the god of doors and gates, beginnings and endings. Typically, we look at the year just passed to assess what we did well and what we can improve on, and we look ahead to plan activities and goals we will focus on in the coming year.

I'll start by noting that a resolution I had last year was to double the readership of S&P to about 300 a day. Didn't happen. I got bogged down by work, school and home obligations and had to back away from the every-spare-minute I was spending here. As a result, we may have missed some opportunities and while steady, our reader numbers will not overwhelm the blog servers any time soon. On the plus side, some of the blog team that had previously been skittish about posting have stepped up and helped out and for that I am very thankful. Now, on to next year...

One of the things we at S&P would really like to see is more interaction with our readers. To that end we put "Recent Comments" on the sidebar so you can see what people are saying. If it inspires you to add your two cents' worth then so much the better.

So, for this post I want to invite everyone to add your New Year's Resolutions, hopes, plans, and so forth. Also, what is going on with your Chapter? Are you going to get to Conclave? (hint: You still have time to enter the contest.) If you want to tell us where to go make suggestions for S&P we would love to hear it as well. Click on the "comments" link and when you see the popup type away. You do not have to leave a name or email, but if you do have a 'handle' it will help keep the musings straight.

Go ahead, make a comment. To start things off, I put this on my other blog.

2007resolutions

HQ Christmas Party Video

Someone apparently had a sip or two of the high-test eggnog at the HQ Christmas Party.

An astute staffer, who wishes to remain anonymous (for reasons which will be obvious after the link), was able to capture the whole scene on his phone-cam and sent it on to us.

See if you can tell who was having too much fun at the party.

Needless to say, we also wish all Sig Eps, their loved ones, and families a Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays from S&P.

Technorati tags: SigEp, fraternity, Christmas

A MASONIC CHRISTMAS TALE

In the spirit of the season, We present this story of fraternal brotherhood, rivalry, and forgiveness.

As I was reading the story of how one brother's jealousy and envy hurt another, and the eventual resolution I remembered my time in the chapter as an undergraduate. There was often contention between brothers, and hard feelings were not always assuaged. Sadly, I must admit that even now, many years later, there are men whom I once called 'brother' that I would feel awkward meeting on the street - and not always because of their actions. I must claim a share of responsibility too. I cannot change the past, but I won't close it out either. If the opportunity arises I will make the first move to make amends and repair the rift of many years.

When you get back to school, look up that a**hole who made your life hell last semester, or the guy you just can't stand for whatever reason. Make a special effort to get past your differences. You may not agree on everything, you may not become "best friends forever". But you may be able to find that brotherhood and common principles allow differences to be reconciled, or at least accepted. Hopefully you will find that meeting "on the level" and parting "on the square" - as they say in freemasonry - is not only possible but preferable. Don't let today's disagreement become tomorrow's estrangement.

Technorati tags: SigEp, Freemason, fraternity

Christmas Tree Theft Becomes Expensive Lesson

Fraternity punished in theft of tree
WPI takes action, Fiji willing to pay
By Milton J. Valencia
TELEGRAM & GAZETTE STAFF
WORCESTER- Worcester Polytechnic Institute has taken disciplinary action against members of a fraternity for the theft of a valuable Christmas tree from a private condominium complex, in a holiday story that brought about community uproar and embarrassment.
Philip Clay, WPI’s dean of students, said in a statement released yesterday that the university completed a student judicial review and that the local chapter of the Phi Gamma Delta fraternity admitted full responsibility for the theft.
The head of the condominium association has praised the university and the fraternity for taking responsibility, but added that the association is looking for the replacement of the tree soon. want to move beyond this,” said Alan Gordon, from the Moreland Hill Townhouses association.
On Thursday, the university issued several sanctions against fraternity members, including 15 hours of community service for each member, for a total of 720 hours. The fraternity must also revise its new member program, create a budget for the purchase of future holiday decorations, and each member must participate in a Values Workshop. In addition, letters of apology must be sent to all affected officials, including WPI administrators, the university’s interfraternity council, campus police and the Worcester Police Department.
The fraternity had already written a letter to the condominium association, accepting responsibility and apologizing for the harm to the community. The group also promised to pay $7,000 in restitution for the tree and to commit to community service by cleaning up Farber Field, which is next to the condominium complex. The cleanup of the field is in addition to the new school sanctions of community service.
The tree has been brought to Friendly House, a social service agency, for decoration. The university community, including several green organizations, had already donated gifts to area children, who were allowed to decorate the tree. Payment for the tree must still be made, but the university and the fraternity have embarked on a public relations campaign since the incident.
“As a longstanding organization within Worcester Polytechnic Institute, we have embarrassed the school, community, fraternity system, and most of all, ourselves,” Brent Shannon, the fraternity president, said in a statement. “Decision making is not something you learn overnight, and we embrace this as a way to learn from our mistakes.”
The theft of the Christmas tree last week was seen as a challenge for the fraternity’s new pledges. They were told by members to decorate the fraternity house at 99 Salisbury St., and members apparently decided to cut the tree down from the Moreland Hill Townhouses, off Wrentham Road.
The blue spruce tree, estimated to be 35 to 40 feet high, was in the center of the cozy condominium complex. The theft of the massive tree surprised the close-knit community, particularly considering it was taken in the dead of night. All that remained the next day was a 2-foot stump.
The theft became the subject of newspaper articles, considering the nature of the theft, the holiday season and the estimated value of the tree at more than $2,000. A Telegram & Gazette reader raised suspicions when she called to point out that a large tree had been placed on the balcony of the fraternity house. A member of the house denied that the tree was the one that had been stolen from the condominium property, but the head of the condo association later identified it.
A police report was filed, and detectives interviewed several members of the fraternity. Eventually, the fraternity admitted responsibility.
Mr. Gordon has praised the fraternity for taking responsibility. But he has also stressed that the condominium association expects restitution soon, saying estimates for the replacement of the tree, as well as the removal of the stump, are more than $7,000.
The fraternity announced Wednesday it would reimburse the association for the loss, but no payment has been made. Police continue to handle the investigation, and at one point said criminal charges could be filed unless a civil resolution is made.
Copyright Worcester Telegram & Gazette Corp.