Lets Change Fraternity Culture Regarding Sexual Assault

As an organization SigEp has focused on the concept of "Sound Mind; Sound Body" for the last several years. That is now part of our core. Our academic progress across all chapters has been amazing since grades became something we measure. SigEp has also made great strides in the areas of diversity and inclusion is a relatively short time.

Now it's time for SigEp as an organization to address another negative stereotype about "Frat Boys" - sexual assault. And by "address" I mean more than scary stories in a risk management presentation.

We need to remember that "Virtue" is also a Cardinal Principle.We are instructed to "behave with decency as befits the day." Even - perhaps especially - when alcohol is involved. Lets work toward actively promoting Virtue as a SigEp quality.

How shall we move toward a culture that does not accept this type of behavior? Can we consciously build an atmosphere in out chapters where "this is NOT what SigEp does" is communicated from the national level, to the local volunteer level, to chapter leadership, and to the members? I asked these questions at the Ft. Worth "Volunteer Drive-In Training" session last week. The response I got was "You are the word junky, How would you craft the message?"

Fair enough. If you complain you get to volunteer. So here is what I think:

• From the top down, the message about sexual assault should be "This is not accepted SigEp behavior." A balanced man does not assault his date, or his 'new friend', "I plead drunken stupor" is not an excuse. 
• It's no longer 'cool' to slut-shame someones daughter.  
• If fighting is a standards board offence, then sexual assault belongs there too. Yes, that would mean you could get penalized or even kicked out. 
• We get lots of scary cases and 'what ifs' during the inevitable Sexual assault portion of risk management presentations. How about making a positive case for acting like a gentleman? Add more "act like this" to all the "don't do that."
• Find a way to measure and reward positive behavior. This could be tough since we are talking more about the absence of bad actions, but maybe some of the professionals could suggest metrics.

That should be enough to get the discussion started. Lets hear from you now. Pro, con, too far out, not drastic enough? Have at it.

Here is a link to the article that had the video attached:

Fraternity Culture Linked To College Sexual Assault Problem | KPBS:

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Arizona State presidential candidate: Jonathan Cole

Click the link for the full article.

A.S. presidential candidate: Jonathan Cole | The Daily Aztec:

Cole is affiliated with Sigma Phi Epsilon, Rotaract and the Business Honors Program. He is also part of the Student African American Brotherhood, Black Business Society, FratMANers and Sports Business Initiative.

Cole said he has a vision for San Diego State and plans to unify the university by making sure all student voices are heard.

“My biggest goal is reengaging student groups on campus who feel like they have lost their identity with Associated Students,” Cole said. “Those students were a core of A.S. and brought a lot of great ideas. “

In addition to rebuilding bonds with student groups, he also plans to engage other facets of campus, such as ROTC members and athletes, who have not previously been involved with A.S.

Cole said he has shadowed the past three A.S. presidents, which has helped him develop ideas.

He plans to utilize designee positions to boards for campus club leaders to represent their organizations and build a stronger A.S. Cole also wants to establish monthly meetings with departments across campus to encourage student participation.

“In the past, we’ve had these designee spots. They’re really supposed to serve as a liaison for these executive officers,” Cole said. “We just need a little bit more follow up and reflection.”

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Fraternities continue to follow in SigEp’s footsteps

Embedded video is a VP Communication's dream.
Fraternities continue to follow in SigEp’s footsteps:

Sigma Alpha Epsilon is the most recent fraternity to follow SigEp’s lead and replace pledging with a better fraternity experience.

On Friday, March 7, 2014, Sigma Alpha Epsilon (SAE) became the most recent fraternity to replace pledging with single-tier membership. The news came as part of more sweeping changes that introduced a new, member development program: The True Gentleman Experience.

SAE’s True Gentleman Experience is based on “five cornerstones” that are similar to SigEp’s own philosophical tenets, elements that have been central to the Fraternity’s Balanced Man Program (BMP) since its inception in 1992.

SAE’s new program, the True Gentleman Experience, is being supported by a 43-page training manual, which introduces the program’s five cornerstones. These cornerstones, and the program at-large, mirror SigEp’s Balanced Man Program, its philosophical tenets, and its own 46-page manual, the Balanced Man Program Guide.

Recent Bloomberg and Insider Higher Education articles recognized SigEp as an early adopter of single-tier membership and continuous development. When SigEp first launched the Balanced Man Program, it represented a drastic departure from more familiar pledge programs as it sought to combat stereotypes associated with Greek life and return SigEp’s focus to its founding values. But in the two decades since the BMP’s launch, many fraternities have attempted to replicate the program.

SAE is the fifth member of the North-American Interfraternity Conference to remove pledging (along with SigEp, Lambda Chi Alpha, Alpha Gamma Rho, and Zeta Beta Tau), but several more, including Beta Theta Pi and Delta Upsilon, have adopted member development programs that share SigEp’s strong anti-hazing stance and emphasis on continuous development. Today, universities are demanding that fraternities evolve and adopt similar programs.

While SigEp’s transition was voted on by undergraduates and has been demand-driven since its inception, news of SAE’s own reform came as a surprise to many members when it was announced on Friday. Response from SAE members on their Facebook page shows that the fraternity will need to work to create buy in with alumni-volunteers and undergraduate brothers who must execute the program for it to succeed.  

One Facebook comment from an SAE alumnus expressed concern about the way the changes were rolled out, “to effectively change national policy without a vote, by effectively enacting a change by what amounts to an executive order... isn't the right way handle things, in my opinion.”

Still, other SAE alumni voiced support for the change, “I am very proud of our council. They had to know this move would be unpopular. This decision took the courage we wanted to see in the leaders of SAE when we elected them.”

SAE’s announcement that it will become the most recent fraternity to move in this direction creates new opportunities for SigEp to lead the Greek community. Many of SigEp’s chapters have already responded to SAE’s announcement with excitement, offering assistance to SAE chapters on their campuses. SigEp’s two-decade head start provides SAE with case studies and resources that will be helpful as they seek to implement a new development model.

Brothers at Southeast Missouri State spoke with a local CBS affiliate about the future of fraternities, a future that looks a lot like what SigEp has been doing for more than twenty years. Vice President of Communications T.J. Weber told reporters, “We call our guys new members as a blatant thing of respect.” He offered encouragement for other chapters on campus who might be considering a similar change, sharing that SigEp’s Balanced Man Program, and its emphasis on equal rights and responsibilities, “gives you more of that feeling of brotherhood.”

Students hit a home run for Mission Hill Little League

MA Eta SigEps are helping out with Little Leaguers in Boston.

Students hit a home run for Mission Hill Little League | news @ Northeastern:

Brothers in the Sigma Phi Epsilon fraternity, seen here at 

McLaughlin Playground, serve as coaches and mentors of 

dozens of young ballplayers in the Mission Hill Little League 

program. 

Photo by Brooks Canaday.

They don’t hit, run, or pitch, but a score of Northeastern Uni­ver­sity students play an important role in the Mission Hill Little League program, coaching and mentoring dozens of budding ballplayers.

“ Northeastern students are a major part of our pro­gram,” said league pres­i­dent Adabel Romero, noting that at least one student is assigned to coach each team.

“They work very well with the kids and keep them focused on the game,” added Romero, whose 12-​​year-​​old son, Anthony, plays shortstop.

The majority of vol­un­teers are brothers in the Sigma Phi Epsilon fra­ter­nity, which formed a part­ner­ship with the little league program eight years ago.

Nick Bar­tolone, the fraternity’s outgoing pres­i­dent, is one of three Northeastern students who coach the Cubs, which won last year’s league championship.

He noted a stark trans­for­ma­tion in the behavior of the little lea­guers between the begin­ning and end of last season. “At the start of the year, some of the players showed up late and didn’t always play nice,” he explained. But as the season wore on, he said, “they came together as a team and learned how to work cohesively.”

Brett Kelly, another fra­ter­nity member who coaches the Cubs, agreed with Bartolone’s assess­ment of the young ballplayers, saying, “Their faces light up once they get a hit or get an out.”

Working as a summer camp councilor taught Kelly a thing or two about men­toring his little lea­guers. “You get to know a lot about each player’s life,” he explained, “and you approach each one with a dif­ferent style in order to help him improve both on and off the field.”

Most games are played at Killilea Field on Mission Hill’s McLaughlin Playground  Northeastern’s Office of City and Com­mu­nity Affairs donated $20,000 to the neigh­bor­hood last year to install a drainage system in the field, which was put in place shortly before Opening Day on April 20.

“It’s working great,” Romero said. “It rained the night before Opening Day, and there were no pud­dles next to home plate. Before the drainage system was installed, we had to pump the water out by hand and reschedule a lot of games.”


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The December Sound Bite is online. This story about Logan Fletcher, UND student body president, is featured.

Senior balances campus and chapter leadership

Senior balances campus and chapter leadership

Logan Fletcher, North Dakota ’13, serves as the student body president at the University of North Dakota, representing over 15,000 students and overseeing a budget of over a half million dollars. He is a 2012 Ruck Scholar, past vice president of communication, past BMS chair, and is now the Phi challenge coordinator and senior marshal. Fletcher proves that you can be involved on your campus and in your chapter.

Sound Bite: When did you realize you wanted to be student body president and what inspired you to run?

Logan Fletcher: When I was a freshman, I met the student body president in my residence hall.  I set a goal to be elected my senior year early on.  My brothers and the Greek community are really what motivated me throughout the campaign and election, though.  It was an incredibly stressful six weeks, but when I came home to the chapter house at night, I had a house full of guys encouraging me to keep going. 

SB: What are the challenges of being heavily involved in two organizations?

LF: Sometimes I have to make a choice between spending a Friday night at the chapter or attending a conference or meeting out of town. But I've never felt that I can't be involved in both.  We mostly make our own schedules in Student Government, so if a SigEp event is my priority, it's rare that I can't make it work.

SB: How does your role on your campus help your chapter?

LF: If nothing else, I try to use Student Government as a way to recruit new members to SigEp and vice versa. A number of brothers are involved in student government besides me. I know I can hire or appoint them to positions, and we will share the same values and drive to succeed. Two other brothers have served on my executive team. One is a student senator representing Greek students, two are on our presidential finance committee, and two have represented UND students to the North Dakota Student Association. We've taken on these roles together to make Sigma Phi Epsilon a name on campus that's respected by students, staff, faculty, and administration alike.

Best. Rush. Video. Ever.

Thanks to Tennessee Eta for this video. It is perhaps the best encapsulation of what "Fraternity" means I have seen. No frenetic music. No quick cut photos or videos, but a simple message that will challenge and inspire anyone who sees it.


It is long - 8 minutes - but well worth the time. Not a SigEp? Watch it anyway for an short explanation of what the concept of fraternity and sorority is really about. You will not regret it.

No One is Useless - You Can Always Be A Bad Example

SC Alpha gets the star treatment. And so, by association, does all of SigEp. Don't even get me started about Vermont.

Brothers, we know we are better than this. When are we going to show it?

This article asserts that, as a group, women are outperforming men on college campuses in both academic and leadership measures. And sororities are outperforming fraternities based on measures such as Fraternity/Sorority GPA vs. all men/women GPA.

What do those of you "in the trenches" as either students or campus professionals see? Is this accurate? If so what role can SigEp play in raising the game of fraternity involvement?

Women zoom ahead of men in college - Education - TheState.com:

"What’s wrong with male college students?

A lot, it seems.

They come to college better prepared than their female counterparts. Then, they underperform.

Consider the case lesson offered by Sigma Phi Epsilon’s Alpha chapter at the University of South Carolina.

After a series of alcohol-related incidents and damage to its fraternity house, the fraternity got with university officials and established a series of goals that, if completed, could have put the local chapter back in good standing. But university and fraternity officials say the young men simply didn’t do what was asked of them, and earlier this month the fraternity suspended its Alpha chapter’s charter.

USC officials said they were disappointed — but not totally surprised.

Dennis Pruitt, USC’s vice president for student affairs, said male college students at USC, and elsewhere, are not seizing academic and leadership opportunities with the same zeal as female students."

'via Blog this'

Time to stop blaming the media and start living the ritual - Sigma Nu blog

This article from the Sigma Nu blog was sent to us and the sender said he would like to see what sort of comments we get. Please read and feel free to let us know what you think.

Sigma Nu Blog
Posted September 12, 2011
http://sigmanuhq.wordpress.com/2011/09/12/time-to-stop-blaming-the-media-and-start-living-the-ritual/

Time to stop blaming the media and start living the ritual

By Leadership Consultant Spencer Montgomery

In such a short history, fraternities have evolved immensely and have experienced a vast shift in cultural identity. Many would suggest the only constant among all this change has been the values we say we represent, but are we sure about that?

Over the past few months, I have questioned what fraternities actually represent; not by what we say, but what we do.  This question demanded that I take a closer and more detailed look, so I decided to follow “fraternity” via Google’s alert system for the past month and see what was being reported on the Greek life I love so much.  To say the least, I was beyond disappointed.

Turns out, there has been a lot of negative coverage on fraternities lately.  It seems as though the media is relentless in their pursuit to find any and all negative byproducts of this system.  I can hardly blame them; no more than I can blame the media for those actions being made in the first place.

Too often, we jump to the same tired defense, arguing that the media fails to report all the good we do.  But is the good we do good enough?  Have we reached a point where we truly believe that six community service hours justifies the mental distress of an 18 year old?  Do we think raising 6,000 dollars can replace a life?

Like it or not, these horrible acts are committed.  And yes, they will always be the only aspect of fraternity reported by the media.  But is pointing out the good we do even an appropriate response?  It’s like we just accept this behavior as a necessary evil to all the good we do.  I just can’t bring myself to believe that.

Instead of fighting against what is reported, let’s give the media nothing to report.  We say we hold ourselves to a “higher standard” yet too often there is a report of alleged hazing or sexual assault by a fraternity member.  Look, we will never be able to control what is reported, but the one thing we can control is our actions.  Let’s stop playing into the stereotypes that we created.

I guess what I’m asking is at what point will we truly do what we say we do, without exception.  Reaching that point includes everyone in the community. Regardless what you think your level of guilt is in all of this, if you’re not doing something to actively stop those who are, you’re not doing anything to help our cause either.  Remember, the next time you turn your eye to what you think is minor hazing, it was that same bystander behavior that led to the death of an 18 year old being the top story on CNN.com.

Are we so far off the beaten path that we can’t come back to the pure state that we once were? Are we so concerned with fulfilling social norms that we dismiss the very reason we exist as an organization? Is the type of man that our fraternities originally sought even relevant anymore?

If you are looking for an answer, I don’t have them.  Sorry.  What I do know is that I took a vow to my organization, promising to be a better man and to make a difference. I’m committed to this vow. I commit to never giving up on our high ideals. I truly believe in Fraternity.

I’d like to challenge the fraternity men who continue to dismiss the values by which they vowed to live:  I challenge you to start living to our high standards and stop making those men doing the right thing defend your actions with their own.  I challenge you to stop giving the media stories to report.  I challenge you to earn your place in this Greek life I love so much.

You Can't SAY That Here!

Has this ever happened at your chapter? Or do you just not mention any possibly suspect activities to those who might take exception?

Last Wednesday I went to our local chapter's monthly AVC meeting, where I sit as VP. During the Chapter President's report he mentioned a social activity with a sorority scheduled for later in the semester. When he told us what type of event they were planning there was a collective gasp, followed by a chorus of "You can't say that!", "Call it something else!", and "Don't even breath that word in the direction of HQ!" from the alums, all of whom are familiar with the way-things-work-in-Richmond. Take note - no one suggested that the event itself was in any way out of line. We know these men and we know what they are planning is going to be fun and harmless. But the name itself has a toxic reputation. The chapter president agreed and immediately came up with another title (as opposed to another event).

We then moved on to the next items: Plans for the upcoming CLA officer training conference and reminders that applications for the RUCK Leadership Institute are due soon. Irony much?

There are two things wrong with this picture, in my view. 1) We (alumni volunteers; HQ staff) seem to have become so politically sensitive to some activities because they have been misused in the past that we cannot even entertain the idea (publicly) of doing them correctly now. 2) We are counseling our undergraduate members, who are looking to us to be mentors and to build them into leaders, that it is OK to lie about our actions. Maybe you could call it a nudge-nudge, wink-wink, but it is disingenuous prevarication nonetheless.

The more I thought about the message we sent to the undergrads the more uncomfortable I got. So here I am, talking about it. If the event concept is so bad it cannot be mentioned shouldn't we have counseled the undergrads to do something else? If the event is harmless shouldn't we have warned them that the event could be misunderstood so they need to be ready to defend their actions?

One should propose solutions, not just whine about problems. Here is what I propose - Alumni volunteers and staff: Make judgements on actions, not the words surrounding them. Be prepared to give the guidance that is needed (if possibly unwelcome) and to explain why you feel so strongly.  Undergraduates: Speak honestly about plans and intentions and be prepared to explain your actions in detail if questioned. Ask for better reasons than "HQ says no." Am I idealistic? Probably. But better that than a liar.

Oh, the activity? A Scavenger Hunt. For the entire chapter. With a sorority. Nothing of an illegal, coercive, or underhanded nature intended. No stop signs, dead animals, or compromised pledges on the list.

Now, I expect to get a call from the Chapter Pres., AVC Pres., RD, or maybe even HQ about how I should not have said anything. There may be references to "dirty laundry". Be that as it may, I want the conversation to continue here as well.

Thanks to XKCD.com for the pic

NBD Meeting - You Are Invited!

He said he wanted to have transparency...

Dear Brothers…. The National Board of Directors will hold our Fall meeting at the O’Hare Hilton in Chicago starting at 2pm Friday…October 29th through Saturday…October 30th. As always, the meeting is open to everyone and we are hopeful that you will be able to attend. Though it is not required, if you do plan on attending…please email Stacy Dudley at stacy.dudley@sigep.net so we can plan accordingly. Hope to see you there…. HFF, Garry

 

Welcome to the Phoenix Conclave - now show me your papers!

Update - Please vote your preference in the poll on the sidebar. We will let HQ know the result so they can see what the "rank and file" want. Thanks.

The more I see and hear about the new law in Arizona requiring law enforcement personnel to ask anyone "suspicious" for proof of legal status, the more I wonder if it is a place for a biennial celebration of the principles of "Virtue, Diligence, and Brotherly Love."

I am proud of SigEp's heritage of being different by championing of diversity. What that means as a practical matter is that next August a number of our Conclave attendees will look 'different', and possibly 'suspicious,' when they arrive at the Arizona customs center airport. Let's hope everyone remembers to bring a passport or at least a birth certificate so they can avoid spending conclave in an ICE holding cell.

Most who read this post would, I believe, like to see some sort of progress made toward a) making our southern border more secure, and b) finding a path to address those who have already entered the country "without due process." The political and economic factors are complicated and I don't pretend to have an answer, but I do know that people who are here legally by birth or by process deserve to be treated with dignity and respect. I may joke about needing a "Texas Passport" but the Arizona law is way too close to that in reality for my comfort.

The new law in Arizona is a refutation of a long held principle in America of freedom to move about. "Show me your papers" is the sort of thing you see in movies about eastern European countries during the cold war, or Gemany in WWII, not in 21st century America. Of course Arizona as a state can make its own laws. That is one of the benefits of being an American state. But if we don't agree with the actions we are not required to enable them. There is no reason to fatten Arizona tax coffers if we don't agree with their actions.

Allow me to make a modest proposal - Move Conclave out of Arizona next year. Don't favor the state with any economic help to keep people in a second class status. Yes, I know the deal was signed long before the bill was even brought up. Yes, I know it will be difficult to find and set up another venue. But isn't it worth the effort? What good is it to say "This Fraternity Will be Different" if we won't be different and make a stand? How can we "Build leaders for the worlds communities" if we don't model that leadership ourselves?

I have stated my feelings, now its time for others to let our leadership know how you feel. You may not share my opinion. Fine, let's hear another viewpoint.

"Capital Fraternal Caucus" on Facebook

Dan Backer sent a message to the members of the Facebook group "Capital Fraternal Caucus."

Subject: Support the 2010 Congressional advocacy day – update your status on Tuesday!

On Tuesday, 4/20, nearly 250 national fraternity and sorority leaders from across the country, including almost 100 outstanding student leaders, will be on Capitol Hill to advocate for passage of the Collegiate Housing and Infrastructure Act (CHIA) (H.R.1547/S.781). With more than 180 House sponsors and nearly 30 Senate sponsors already, momentum is building to make this the year CHIA becomes law. When passed, CHIA means better, safer, and expanded not-for-profit housing for hundreds of thousands of college students nationwide, including the 250,000 students each year who call fraternity and sorority houses their home away from home.

SHOW YOUR SUPPORT – on Tuesday, we’re asking all the members of this FaceBook group to change your status message to:

“I support the national fraternity and sorority leaders who are in Washington D.C. today advocating for the 2010 passage of the Collegiate Housing and Infrastructure Act (H.R. 1547/S.781) and I'm asking my Senators and Representative to be part of the solution for better, safer, and more affordable not-for-profit student housing. If you support our students too, please copy this message to your FaceBook profile today!”

If you are not part of the effort, I encourage you to join, or at least post that status on your Facebook page.

Greek housing is a significant portion of on-campus/near-campus housing for students. Donors to the colleges for housing get a tax deduction for their donations, but Greek housing currently does not enjoy the same tax break. The bill being proposed would offer a break to Greek housing donors too.

Great Leadership Involves Delegation

Be smart when delegating tasks
from our friends at The Apathy Myth: a Blog for America's College Student Leaders
By T.J. Sullivan
CEO, CAMPUSPEAK Inc.



You're trying to be a proactive leader, and you delegate an important task. You ask one of your fellow officers to go to the Student Activities Office before Friday and fill out an important form to register your annual fundraising event. Without this form, you cannot reserve the one space on campus that will work for the event. This officer has done these forms a couple of times before, so you don't consider this a high risk delegation.

Fast forward to next Tuesday. You find out that not only did the officer fail to get the form in by Friday, he didn't fill the form out properly, didn't get a required signature, and now the space you desperately needed for the event has been snatched up by another group on campus.

Damn it. Another case of delegation gone wrong. If you had just done it yourself, everything would have been fine. As you shift into crisis mode, you swear that you're never going to delegate an important task to him or anyone else for the rest of your term.

As much as your advisor and guys like me urge you to delegate tasks, the truth is that sometimes it goes well, and sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes you delegate (or "hand over") something complex, and the person does an amazing job. Sometimes you delegate something seemingly minor, and it blows up in your face. It all contributes to that most destructive syndrome of student leadership: the "it's easier if I do it myself" syndrome. We all know that just leads to burnout, falling grades, failed relationships, and stress.

Here are a few ideas that might (and I stress, might) lower your risk of delegation failure.

• Follow up a day or two later with the person, thank them for taking on the task, and ask him or her if they have any questions about the task. Use phrases like, "It's so great to have people like you I can count on."

• Only delegate to people who ask for something to do. Handing that form to a young, eager leader instead of your overworked and easily-distracted secretary might have yielded better results. Before you delegate, ask yourself, "Does this person stand to gain anything from doing this well?" If not, don't give the task to him or her.

• Ask for a confirmation, perhaps by text message, when the deadline is met. If you had asked your fellow officer to text you when the form was turned in Friday, and then you didn't receive one, you could have made a quick call to the Student Activities Office near the end of the day and scrambled, if necessary.

• Do the task with the person the first time. Don't assume that this member or fellow officer knows how to do the task. It might seem simple to you, but maybe it's intimidating to her. It's often best to do the task one time together, then trust the person to do it on her own the next time.

• Make sure the person understands why the task is important. If you had told the officer, "If we don't get this form correct and in by Friday, we might lose the ability to reserve the quad lawn, and someone else will probably grab it for that Saturday," the officer might have felt the urgency a bit more keenly. Let the person know that this is important, and she is more likely to treat it as important.

• Praise the person when he does the job right. It seems silly to celebrate someone for turning in a form, but if you want him to keep doing the job right, you need to give him some positive feedback. A public thank you at your next meeting wouldn't hurt.

• Reward work well done with more work. When someone has shown initiative and an ability to responsibly perform tasks, give that person increasingly important work to do. Let the person build on his or her success with increasing responsibility. People love it when they know you trust and depend on them. If you can build this over time, then you'll have several people that you can trust to do delegated tasks correctly and efficiently.

• Be cool if it doesn't go perfectly. If you had to run in on Friday afternoon and fix something on the form, don't overreact and chastise the person. Use it as a teachable moment and spend a little time with the other person so that the mistake can be avoided in the future. If you act like the world has ended because someone made a mistake, you're not being a good, nurturing leader. People make mistakes, and you'd be smart to worry less about punishing people than helping build their knowledge and abilities.

Delegation is an imperfect science, but you are more likely to be a happy leader if you do it thoughtfully. If you're doing everything yourself, you are not doing your job as a student leader correctly.

T.J. Sullivan Speaks on Leadership and People

THE APATHY MYTH: a Blog for America's College Student Leaders

by T.J. Sullivan

People

Dr. Lori and I were chatting yesterday, talking about the death of Senator Ted Kennedy of Massachusetts. Lori is married to a Republican, so she had to talk quietly (kidding). She said she was struck the most by the vast number of people with stories about the Senator reaching out to them personally at a time of need.

When 9/11 happened, Kennedy personally called the family members of every 9/11 victim with a tie to his state of Massachusetts. There were many. I saw a story on ABC News about how Kennedy invited one 9/11 widow and her young son to visit the Kennedy home in Hyannis Port to go sailing and talk about the husband/father they lost on that terrible day. For nearly 40 years, he called the family of every Massachusetts service member lost during war.

Kennedy was an important man who understood what was most important. People.

Lori and I talked about how some of the leaders who have shaped our lives the most did so by simply taking a personal interest and reaching out.

A couple times a year, I get a personal, handwritten card from Durward Owen. He's sort of the Ted Kennedy of our fraternity, although he would hate that comparison. Durward was our executive director for three decades, honorary fourth founder of our fraternity – the "lion" of Pi Kappa Phi. Every time I get a card from him, I save it. He doesn't just do it for me. He does it for every man who ever worked for him. People.

In my home office, on a bulletin board in front of me as I type this, are two more handwritten cards. One is from my business partner, David Stollman, in which he tells me he's proud to have built our company with me. The other is from Dr. Phil Summers, a former national president of my fraternity and a chapter brother from Indiana. In the nearly illegible handwriting of a man near 80, he tells me that my keynote was the best part of our fraternity's leadership school.

It doesn't have to be a handwritten card. Coincidentally, yesterday (before talking to Lori), I reached out to a fraternity brother who is going through a medical battle, and I asked him how he was doing. It was a Tweet, not a handwritten note, but I think it hit him on a day when he really wanted someone to care. I got an email from him yesterday evening thanking me for reaching out. He told me how much it meant to him.

Here's the leadership lesson. The things people tend to remember aren't the business decisions you make for your organization. It's not the meetings, or the power struggles, or the flashy event that was held under your watch as a leader. It's not the t-shirt, the party favor, or even the amazing legislation that you worked months to pass in your student senate. It's not how many friends you had on Facebook.

What they remember are the personal connections that you take time to foster. Dropping by to ask your advisor if her son is feeling better after having the flu. Driving your fraternity brother two hours to visit his ailing grandmother. Taking that friend out for fries at Denny's after he loses the election. Helping your girlfriend's best friend hook up her computer one night over a pitcher of margaritas.

Don't get so busy being a student leader that you forget what really matters. It's the moments you stop being a student leader and act like a real caring person.

Care and Feeding of Advisors

The following post is an email that fellow SigEp Ron Binder sent to members of the Association of Fraternity Advisors. There are some excellent points here that can be adopted by local AVCs, the National Leadership, and the HQ staff.

Karen and Others,

The issue of engaging advisors with our groups is a daunting one, both for our campus based professionals as well as the headquarters. All can agree that an engaged advisor improves our chapters, provides mentors for our undergraduates, lowers the high-risk behaviors, and generally helps our groups achieve their intended outcomes. The tricky part is how to recruit, train, and reward these volunteers. While there is no magic formula, here are some suggestions that I have found that help.

1. Treat your advisors as equal partners in the relationship between your office and the chapter.
2. Copy advisors on almost all communication to the chapter.
3. Use inclusive language whenever possible (Grad Advisor, Chapter Advisor).
4. Try to learn the various titles of advisors (Chapter Counselor, Purple Legionnaire, High Pi, etc.).
5. In any disciplinary action, be sure to include the advisor (either by calling yourself or making sure they are called by the chapter president).
6. Send advisors internet stories, both good and bad, that will educate them (I attach them to the weekly email to presidents and advisors).
7. Provide training for advisors, realizing some are seasoned and some are not.
8. Try not to have them play the “heavy” in situations. Staff member are much more in a position to do this.
9. Realize advisor’s capabilities and don’t overload them.
10. Encourage an Advisory Team approach to advising, rather than a Jack of All Trades advisor (who probably has never existed).
11. Realize that advisors don’t sign up for life, but rather go through stages in their lives; much like undergraduates (see Erik Erikson’s theory).
12. Use the summer to spend quality time with advisors (lunches, coffee, etc.).
13. Meet advisors on their own turf (houses and their office), not always in your office.
14. Take new advisors out to lunch or coffee to orientate them to their new position (don’t assume the previous advisor transitioned them).
15. Realize that things have changed since many advisors were undergrads and bring along your advisors.
16. Most advisors don’t go around the rules, rather most don’t know the rules have changed (rarely have I found a bad advisor, just those who are not up to speed).
17. Provide books for them to read. At a recent meeting I took along some books from the office and let them borrow them. Volunteers: How to Get Them, How to Keep Them by Helen Little is a good book to buy advisors (we are doing this for the fall).
18. Provide an outstanding Grad/Chapter Advisor award. We make them for small, medium and large chapters to include more advisors.
19. Remember they are always volunteers and treat accordingly (this is not their job).

If we want quality advisors then we need to spend quality time with them. The same way we develop good undergraduate leaders, by investing our time in them, we need to do with our advisors. The best advisors I know don’t spend all their time with undergraduates, rather they spend some of their time with those that interact with undergraduates (advisors, headquarters, parents, campus administrators, etc.), especially if they want their message to undergraduates reinforced.

Other suggestions from advisors?

Dr. Ron Binder
Director of Greek Life
University of South Carolina
Email: rbinder@mailbox.sc.edu

Darmouth Greeks Write "Best Practices Guidelines"

Greek organizations write formal guidelines
By Jamila Ma

The three Greek organizations sanctioned last term for incidents at fall formal events have developed a “Best Practices Guidelines” document that outlines procedures to be followed before, during and after off-campus events to ensure the safety and appropriate conduct of attendees. Dean of the College Tom Crady, in an interview with The Dartmouth, said the incidents have prompted him to talk with students and administrators in the future about how to create better policies for off-campus events.

Crady said that all three appeals by fraternities put on probation last term were denied. He declined to give more specific information.

Delta Delta Delta sorority, Sigma Delta sorority and Sigma Phi Epsilon fraternity were required to collaborate with the Greek Leadership Council and Greek Letter Organizations and Societies to create the document with the Organization Adjudication Committee, as part of their sanctions.

The document, written at the end of last term, recommends establishing clearer expectations with formal venues before events and clarifying any ambiguous details, including who is responsible for cleaning the location and possible reasons for additional fees.

At its fall formal, members of Sigma Delt did not realize that they were responsible for cleaning up at the Skiway, where they held the event, The Dartmouth previously reported.

The document also includes provisions for additional “sober monitors.”

The guidelines suggest that organizations compile a list of guests before the formal event and outline appropriate standards of conduct.

“A huge part of the issue is that people’s dates are not held accountable for their actions and don’t feel like they have a stake in the event’s success,” Tri-Delt President Joanne Schneider ‘10 said.

Crady also said that the actions of non-members at formal events is a “difficult issue,” adding that he aims to talk to students, representatives from the Office of Residential Life and members of Greek organizations about how to create better policies and decrease ambiguity regarding off-campus events and behavior.

“It’s a good discussion that I’d like to have,” he said.

Greek organizations are appealing a greater percentage of OAC decisions than in the past, Crady said, adding that his direct handling of all appeals may have contributed to this increase. Previously, whoever heard the original case would also hear the appeal.

Sig-Ep, Heorot and Sigma Delt were put on social probation for four weeks, Kappa Kappa Kappa fraternity for three weeks and Tri-Delt for the Winter term.

An organization can appeal an OAC decision if new evidence has come to light since the original hearing or if members believe a procedural error was made, Crady said. The presidents of Tri-Kap and Sig Ep said that both of these conditions applied to their cases, and Chi Heoret’s president declined to comment, as previously reported in The Dartmouth.

“A procedural error could occur if [an organization] thought someone was biased in the committee,” Crady said.

Tri-Delt, Sigma Delt and Sig Ep are not permitted to host, co-host, co-sponsor or contribute any organizational funds, services or labor to any off-campus formals, social events or other social activities for the next three terms, according to the Office of Judicial Affairs BlitzMail bulletin.

Tri-Delt’s national organization, which has a policy of imposing harsher sanctions on a chapter than those imposed by the university, placed the sorority on social probation for three terms, Schneider said.

“The sanctions state that we are not allowed to have events with non-members until the fall — this includes any fraternity functions, formals or philanthropy events,” Schneider said in an e-mail.

The sanctions do not apply to pre-rush events, Schneider said.

Sig Ep and Heorot officials declined to comment. Sigma Delt and Tri-Kap officials did not respond to requests for comment.

Breaking - SigEp Executive Director Announces Resignation.

Just released from SigEp HQ in Richmond (Updated 17:33 cst to include a corrected quote):

Sigma Phi Epsilon's Executive Director Craig D. Templeton (Kansas '81) announced today that he will leave the Fraternity's staff by the end of the calendar year.

“As the board and I wrap up the creation of a new strategic plan to take SigEp to the next level of leading the American college fraternity movement, I’ve decided that this is the right time for a transition in leadership. I’m proud of the transformational changes that we’ve made since my arrival in 2000.”

Grand President Stephen B. Shanklin (Murray State ’70) said, “We are grateful for Craig’s long term service and his commitment to ensure a thoughtful staff transition. I know that he will continue to play a valuable role in the American college fraternity movement.”

Grand Treasurer, Christopher L. Bittman (Colorado ’85), commended Templeton’s leadership in driving the Fraternity to its strongest financial position since its founding in 1901.

"Craig’s financial strength also extends to the SigEp housing operation, where he launched the biggest expansion in real estate in our history during his tenure. As a result, SigEp is poised for continued growth in housing that will extend long past Craig's time on the staff," said Bert J. Harris, III, President of SigEp’s National Housing Corporation and member of the National Board (Florida Alpha ’75).

Templeton is also credited with the development of the Leadership Continuum, a sequential curriculum of four-year, continuous leadership development programming, the implementation of volunteer recruitment and training programs, and the Fraternity’s flagship, award-winning Sigma Phi Epsilon Journal magazine.

SigEp’s risk management programming, developed under Templeton’s leadership, has placed America’s largest college fraternity in the lowest risk category.

Sigma Phi Epsilon is the largest college fraternity with over 14,000 undergraduates on 250 campuses.

As always, comments are welcome.
Good move? A loss for the Fraternity? Who should be the next Exec. Dir.? What is your take on it?

Sig Ep - President of Up With People - Takes University Leadership Position

ECU appoints '92 grad to leadership position
By Josh Humphries The Daily Reflector

East Carolina University will soon have a new official to help guide its mission to become one of the nation's premiere leadership universities.

Thomas J. “Tommy” Spaulding, former president of Up With People, has been named the first Leader in Residence at ECU.

Spaulding, a 1992 ECU graduate who recently formed a leadership consulting and speaking firm based in Denver, will hold the position for the 2009 calendar year and work with ECU for a week every month.

Provost Marilyn Sheerer said the appointment is part of ECU's strategic plan to enhance a focus on leadership at the university. “He is recognized on the national level as someone who champions leadership,” Sheerer said.

“There are all kinds of leadership development programs here.” Sheerer said each college has leadership programs in existence and officials are working on university-wide programs that Spaulding will help develop.

“We will be tapped into the resources that he has,” she said. “He is giving back to us and helping us make this model work. He will be working internally and bringing in speakers on the subject.”
The university has included a commitment to leadership as one of its five objectives in its strategic plan for the future.

“Our world is starving for better leaders,” Spaulding said. “Universities should develop graduates, but, more importantly, they should develop future leaders. ECU has the opportunity to be a true leadership university, and I'm proud to be a part of this tremendous vision.”

The university is in the process of creating an audit system that will allow students to leave with a diploma and a profile of work completed that relates to leadership. There is also a focus on faculty members acting as leadership models in the classroom, Sheerer said.

Spaulding will work on these initiatives and develop similar programs that will make ECU a national model in the area of leadership, Sheerer said.

“Tommy is a perfect match for our leadership initiative,” said Chancellor Steve Ballard.
“He has a proven track record in leadership development and has earned the respect of other well-known leaders. He is one of us and we couldn't be happier to have him join our team in this critical role.”

While a student at ECU, Spaulding served as president of the senior class, Sigma Phi Epsilon fraternity and the Inter-fraternity Council. He also earned the Most Outstanding Leader award.

In 2006, he received an ECU Outstanding Alumni Award.

He holds an MBA from Bond University in Queensland, Australia, and an MA in nonprofit management from Regis University in Denver. He serves on the board of trustees for the Museum of Outdoor Arts and on the board of directors of Leader's Challenge.

Josh Humphries can be contacted at jhumphries@coxnc.com or (252) 329-9565.

Dating a Student Leader - Is This You?

Student Leadership and Relationships
from THE APATHY MYTH: A Blog for America's Student Leaders

I have some news for you, Student Leader. Dating you sucks. Sure, you're cute and all. Sometimes you get good tickets for games. It's sometimes fun to be with you when you're the center of attention. But, let me tell you... it mostly sucks.

You're always at meetings, and you don't do a very good job of letting me know when you have them. They always go late, and it's impossible to make plans with you. Inevitably, some crisis happens. Sometimes you schedule these impromptu meetings or go to some meeting at the last minute, and I'm left hanging.

You know who I had a meeting with last night? Jay Leno. That was a blast.

When we do spend time together, all you talk about is the organization. So-and-so said this. So-and-so did this. Worry, stress, and other bullshit.


I hear that other people dating each other talk about music, movies, the news. Not us.Why is it that you have a ton of stuff planned for your student leadership position: retreats, parties, meetings, special events – but you and I don't have anything fun to look forward to. How about planning something fun with me?

Last week, we actually went out and had something to eat. It was going great until a bunch of your friends from the organization saw us and invited themselves to sit down. I tried to engage with it and be cool, but after 30 minutes, I felt hijacked. I wish you had told them to get lost.

By the way, who the hell gets six urgent text messages between midnight and 6 a.m.? What are you? The National Security Advisor? Turn the damn phone off if you want to spend the night.

You spend so much time working on leadership stuff that you're never on top of your tests, your papers, your reading for class. Jamming on a paper on my computer until 4 a.m. doesn't count as quality relationship time.

My birthday fell on a meeting night. Hey, I get it. I don't expect you to change the meeting of your organization on my account. But, a phone call would have been nice. A week later when you keep saying, "Sorry we still haven't done anything for your birthday," I just want to punch you.

I hate to complain, but you've given me a lot to complain about lately. I actually had a conversation with someone the other day, and he/she was really cool. Friendly, paid attention to me. Not involved in anything in a big way. Easy to hang out with. Listened to me. Made me want to change my Facebook status.You've been warned.

Part II

If you're a Student Leader lucky enough to have a really terrific person who wants to spend time with you, it's important that you find a way to strike a balance between the crushing weight of your responsibilities and the relationship maintenance that keeps that special person feeling valued. As I tried to illustrate humorously in the last posting, you can sometimes be a difficult person to date.

Trust me when I tell you that finding the balance between life at work (your leadership position) and life at home (your friendships, your relationships, your family) is one of the most common challenges young professionals face. Even old guys like me struggle with it on a pretty regular basis. Use this time in your life to force yourself to learn some of these critical skills.

Here are some random bits that might help:

- Your organization will not fall apart if you take a few hours, an evening, or an entire weekend away. You're not running NASA, and it's time for you to acknowledge that. If you have to be on 24/7, then you're running an unhealthy organization and you have an unhealthy, abusive relationship with it! Trust others to handle some stuff while you tend to the other important things in your life. Or, just let it go until Monday. The world won't stop turning.

- When you're with your special someone, don't seek to talk exclusively about your issues, your organization, your drama. Use that time as an escape. Force yourself to talk about other things. If you can't think of anything to talk about, then you need to spend more time with that person and identify some mutual interests. Make him/her feel important by taking a genuine interest in what's going on in their life. The other person might feel that they are the less interesting person in the relationship – show him/her that you don't think so! It might actually be a relief to be quiet and listen for a while.

- Turn off the cell phone. Don't look and respond to texts while you're spending time together. Demonstrate that the other person is a priority by staying away from your computer, too. When you're with someone, truly be WITH them. That says, "Nothing is more important to me than you right now."

- When you do talk about your student leadership life, ask his or her opinion. Don't just complain and vent (that gets really old). Share some funny stories. No one likes to be around someone who's negative all the time. Ask your special someone what he/she might do in a particular situation, and validate the ideas.

- When you're having time with your special someone, don't invite other people to invade that time. If people come up and start talking "business," tell them you'd love to chat another time. Let the person you're with SEE you defending your time together. Also, if your entire relationship revolves around the social events of your organization, it might be time to blow off that party and find something else to do Saturday night.

- When you make a commitment to your special someone, keep it. Some big meeting just cropped up? "Sorry guys. I'm going to a movie with my girl tonight. I'll call you in the morning and you can fill me in." You'll find that people respect your time more when they can't have it at a moment's notice.

- Make sure you and your special someone always have something you're looking forward to. A trip, a movie you're going to share, a concert, a birthday night out. Whatever. Having something you're both looking forward to gives you a "future."It is (is, is, is, is) possible to maintain a healthy relationship while taking on a big student leadership challenge. You just have to commit yourself to doing the work and drawing the healthy boundaries necessary.

I always say that we make time for the things we really want. If you really enjoy the other person and what he/she brings to your life, then you'll make the time. If not, then you might just be using the other person as a distraction or as some sort of release valve. But when the caring is there, then demonstrate it to that special someone. No one likes to come in second.

Are Your Officers Doing All that They Can Do?

Give under-utlized officers something to do!
fromj our friends at THE APATHY MYTH: A Blog for America's Student Leaders

Regardless of what student organization you are in, there are probably officer positions that don't have a lot to do. Some, like president, have so much to do they can't keep up. Some others seem to have no specific role and they spend time twiddling their thumbs. This is a problem.

It's hard to stay motivated when you have very little important to do. And, it's hard for the overworked officers to stay motivated when their counterparts aren't carrying the same amount of weight.

And remember the most important rule of student leadership motivation: PEOPLE SUPPORT WHAT THEY CREATE. If your officers are constantly feeling like they are helping to create a successful organization, they will not be motivated.

Here are a few suggestions for energizing those under-utilized officers.

1. Don't be hemmed in by the job descriptions in your bylaws or Constitution. Just because your bylaws say that the Secretary's only job is to keep minutes at the meeting does not mean that he or she can't do other things. Put your Secretary in charge of a long-lingering problem and put some deadlines and expectations on him or her. So what if your Historian is only supposed to take pictures at events. Put him in charge of upgrading your risk management. Maybe even ask these officers if there is a significant organizational problem that they would like to tackle this year? As president, you should not feel constricted by your bylaws with regard to offering opportunities. In fact, your executive board will run better when everyone on it feels like he/she is making an important contribution.

2. As a fall-back, constitutional revision is always a great way to keep someone busy. Not to say it isn't important, but it is time consuming and can be tedious. Most busy officers don't have time to sit down and do it. It's a great thing to delegate and the discussion it produces in your organization will fire a lot of people up.

3. Assign under-utilized officers to help the overworked officers. If your Parliamentarian doesn't have a lot on her plate, then make her 2nd in command to the officer in charge of Homecoming. Have them work as a team. If your officer in charge of Homecoming protests, tell him that you don't want him burning out or feeling overwhelmed, so you've asked another officer to back him up. This is also a great defensive move against having one person in your organization totally responsible for a big thing, then flaking.

4. Put one of your officers in charge of your executive committee goals (this assumes that your exec actually has a set of goals for the year). Each week at your exec meeting, this officer is in charge of spending some time reviewing pertinent goals and helping the exec committee, as a whole, to make progress on the goals. Many of you have goals, but no one is staying on top of them after they are set. Assigning an under-utilized officer to manage their progress is a great, meaningful leadership opportunity. You can even say that you are putting this officer in charge of the organization's "strategic plan." That sounds very important.

5. Put an under-utilized officer in charge of "External Relations." This person is now in charge of finding co-sponsors for events, creating networking (social) opportunities with the student officers of allied organizations on campus, etc. This might not be necessary for a student government, but for special interest student organizations, it can make a big difference in terms of campus image and member recruitment.

You can really tell a lot about what kind of officer someone will be by how enthusiastically they seize or avoid these requests. Someone who seizes the opportunity to be the "strategic plan manager" might end up being a good future president. The officer who does nothing with a delegated set of responsibilities is probably at the peak of his or her ascension in the organization.

Be aware that giving under-utilized officers meaningful sets of responsibilities is an exercise in delegation and relinquishment of control. If this is a problem for you, then it's something to work on. You should trust your organization and your fellow officers enough to spread the important and critical work around.